Month: January 2012

it’s sinking in still

This still doesn’t seem real. I’ve waited for this moment for so long – waited to meet this child whose face I’ve studied in pictures. And now he’s here and it still seems too good to be true. Even when I had pee dripping down my back, even when my shirt stinks of spit up and my pants have hardened drops of formula. It still doesn’t seem quite real. I’m running out of words that mean "happiness".

a boy and his daddy

I love watching Nate care for Thane.  He’s gentle and kind, and has immense amounts of patience.  I will never forget these early days of parenting together.  Being together in Thane’s room.  The lights off, the nightlight on, the turtle Gigi and Papa gave us beaming stars and a moon on too the ceiling.  Precious. I will never forget the way Thane looks at Nate.  The way Nate looks at Thane.  My two handsome men.  Together at last. We love you Thane.  You’ve []

random stream of memories

Rocking with him, feeling his body relax into my arms. Looking into his eyes while he drinks his bottle. The happiness, it overflows. I’m lost in the realization and wonder of getting to know this human being who I love more than words can say. He seems to relax the most when all three of us are together. It’s like he needs to know that everyone who takes care of him is present. If I see him tensing up we go and []


Seven months ago this week we first received pictures of the sweetest baby boy I’d ever seen – our Thane. Since then I’ve looked at his pictures first thing every morning and the last thing every night. That I now get to hold him, love on him, see him every morning and every night is a gift I will forever cherish. This afternoon Mom and I ran an errand while he was napping. Wow, I missed him. But I needed something warmer []

of blocks and babies

These last months I’ve watched my baby grow up in pictures.   But now, suddenly, he’s three dimensional.     I let my fingers trace his head, his fingers, his feet and am amazed at how I can see every part of him at once, no trying guess what is happening outside of the picture.  I know.  He’s here.  He’s real.  He’s my son.     As for his dimples, they simply slay me. I had no idea he had them (they hadn’t []