Today was an upsetting day. We went to meet with an adoption lawyer to discuss the adoption finalization* and she was a moron. Seriously. We left in the office and I burst into tears. Tears. OVER A LAWYER. Though "lawyer" is not what I was calling her. Basically she was not familiar with international adoptions ( though she told N on the phone she was) and she was saying we needed all this additional paperwork, including forms from Nat’s birthcountry, new references, new homestudy, etc, etc. Ugh.
That old soul-ache gripped me. That feeling of my child is on the other side of the world with a stack of paperwork between us. The wondering if we’ll ever be together – if I’ll ever get to be his mommy. To feel his face between my hands and his hand in mine. That feeling of "am I going to be wrenched away from this person I love more than my heart?"
Thankfully baby was sleeping and so was unaware of all these emotions. Damn lawyer. N found a new one, we meet with her next week.
*The adoption finalization or re-adoption is where the state of WA, and in turn the US government officially accept the ruling of C___ and recognize us as his parents. It’s a formality really but a necessary one in order to grant him citizenship. A lawyer is not necessary in our state, we can file all the forms ourselves but we pay a few dollars a month through my husband’s work to have access to a lawyer so we’re going to take advantage of not having to travel into downtown Seattle to visit the courthouse multiple times.