Uncategorized

the funny and the best

Apparently climbing off and on the couch cushions* is the funniest thing that has ever happened. Ever. Or it was for a week.  We’ve moved on now to licking our reflection in the living room mirrored wall. Yes, seriously.  Thane also loves to crawl alongside it and watch his reflection. It’s adorable. I hate that mirrored wall. He loves it. I’m blaming my husband who also loves that mirrored wall. He however, does NOT crawl alongside it. Or lick it.

DSC_1011

DSC_1007

But while the funniest thing ever changes from day to day or week to week Daddy coming home continuous to be the best moment of every day. For Thane and for me.  These two are my favorite people.

daddy is home

*My couch cushions are white. I am aware that mothers are not supposed to have white slipcovered couches. But I love mine. They are washable, bleachable, and replaceable at Ikea for $50 should something terrible happen to them. I don’t stress when they get spilled, just pop in the washer and dryer once a month. We’ve been through a lot together: tomato sauce, vinaigrette, chocolate, avocado, sweet potato, formula, and even rusty water.  The barely beige, almost white carpet however is a different story, if only it was as easy. What can I say, it was here when we bought the place.

gushing

these are the moments

…that they warned me about. The moments that rip your chest open, grab out your heart, and scream “you have lost all reason – you are that in love with this child!”

Moment One: Saturday morning (the 12th) we all woke up.  Okay, that’s not really true.  Thane woke up and proceeded to climb, paw, talk/yell, and in general made it known that we should wake up as quickly as possibly to have the honor of hanging out with him. So we did and talked and played in bed for awhile. (He sleeps the majority of the night in his crib, but the last couple of hours are sometimes spent with us. This is our attempt to buck both the AP group and the co-sleeping is dangerous faction.)

And at one point, with him sitting on my stomach and me telling him “I love you” in various attempting-to-be-humorous voices he looked at me and said “I lo lo”. No freaking way. And then he did it again. And perhaps if I had responded with a slight smile and a gentle squeeze and told him I love you back in a gentle mother’s voice he would have continued to say it. However, I’m me and so I screamed, lifted him in the air, tickled him, ate up his cheeks with noisy kisses, and in general acted like a darn fool.

Moment Two: Thane is very opinioned about me talking on the phone, as in I should only do so if the phone is on speaker. He also assumes every phone call is Daddy, though he’s getting better about that one. One time he yelled at me because it was NOT Daddy on the other line. It’s humorous. It will probably not be so humorous when he’s twelve. Oh well.

So, May 7th was just another phone call and Thane did his usual big smile, excited flapping response to hearing Daddy’s voice, and I did my usual “say Hi to Daddy” speech. But instead of being met with babbling (common) or just a wordless smile (more common) or biting the phone (extremely common) he opened his perfect little rosebud lips and said “haaaa”. My child spoke! In a southern accent no less.

Since then he’s repeated his trick for Gigi on the phone and a few other times. He still refuses to do it without the presence of a phone call though, my attempts at getting him to say it in person are met with a look that clearly says “you’re crazy woman – there is no phone.”

This brings his current list of words up to

  1. Dada
  2. Mamama (which can mean mommy, but often just means I want something)
  3. Bababa (bottle)
  4. Nanana (I don’t want something or  whatever you are doing right now – STOP)
  5. Haaaaa (hi)
  6. The word he uses for his foster mother (I’ll expand more on this in another post.)

Moment Three: Thane doesn’t really offer kisses unprompted too often. But on the 8th he out of the blue grabbed my face between both chubby hands, turned it sideways and planted a wet sloppy one on my cheek. *Cue angels singing and harps playing* this Mommy was ridiculously happy.

DSC_0036

{{I love this face. This is a face of concentration and trying to figure the world out. This is a face that studies things.}}

gushing, Uncategorized

remember this, vol 1: flying down memory lane

Dear Thane,

So many of your little mannerisms are already changing from when we first met. You are an ever changing source of excitement and wonder.

  • You used to love to “fly”. Anywhere and everywhere, when we would pick you up and face you forward you would flap your little arms, kick your chubby little legs and fly. Down to the laundry room, down the hallway, across the living room, and to worlds unknown. Okay, we didn’t manage to make it to any unexplored worlds, but someday.

    Your flying was hitting its peak about the time Gigi and Papa came for their second visit, Papa would wear himself out flying you around the living room and through the kitchen and you would smile a full two dimples worth. The day we all went to Home Dep*t to buy wood for the gate Papa built you for the back deck (so someday you can ride your tricycle back there without literally flying down the stairs) you flew all over the store in Gigi’s arms. I’m not sure how she had the energy to carry your flapping self, my arms gave out around the paint department but somehow she did.

  • One time (before you learned to crawl) we were out in the front, I was attempting to work in the flower bed and you were sitting in the grass watching me, and the cars go by. Okay, mostly the cars, because my little boy you absolutely love cars. And as each one passed you started clapping and saying “aaaayy” for each one. People were openly slowing down to stare, wave back, and smile. You made everyone feel like a Nascar driver that day little guy.
adoption related mushiness

beautiful eyes

Three months into this parenting-thing and I notice little things more and more.  I celebrate the little moments.  Today, it’s eye contact.

The differences between now and then are amazing to me. He used to not want to hold eye contact throughout a whole bottle, and if I tried he would become agitated and irritated. So I would look him in the eyes for a little white, then look away to give him a break. Eventually he learned to look away himself when it got to be too much – too close.

But now we can sit through a whole bottle looking at each other. One set of brown eyes to another. I love that. I love that things are comfortable enough here for him now that he can be that trusting.  I’m so proud of him.DSC_0073

{{Trying to climb into my lap, the camera was put down as soon as I snapped this because seriously, who could resist those gorgeous eyes?}}

adoption related seriousness, family age

home

All throughout the process of adoption I tried to be careful about calling our life here “home” for Thane.  Even on his birth announcement I put “together” instead of “home”. I’m not sure all the reasons for the hesitation.  Certainly I thought it, I believed it, I wanted it.  But I also knew it wasn’t. He wasn’t coming home, he was leaving home. Leaving home to come live in a strange place that yes, would eventually BE home. Sometimes I think I over think things.

But I also think that part of it was trying to hold on to the awareness that while we were bonded to him, he was in no way bonded to us. We laid in bed at night aching to hold him. He slept in his foster mother’s home not even knowing who I was. I wanted to honor that. I wanted to acknowledge that his life began long before he joined ours.

There are many reasons I’m glad I did that, kept that awareness. It made it easier when he didn’t want me, didn’t know me, didn’t love me. Why should he? But as the months have gone on I’ve watched that slowly change. He wants me now, he knows how to snuggles into the crook of my arm, I believe he loves me. It’s been an amazing thing to watch unfold. This becoming-a-family thing.

…..

My mother came back for her third visit since baby came home, and then N left for Argentina shortly she arrived.  Those two events are not connected in the way you might thing. Mama come because N was leaving and not the other way around.

N’s brother was getting married to a lovely lady who is from there and that is where they live and so thus the location.  N spent many of his growing up years there with his parents who are missionaries and still spend a good portion of their year down there.

It was four nights and I will be honest and say it scared the living tar out of me.  I was worried about attachment, crying fits, feeling abandoned, etc, etc.  I was also worried about the baby. *evil grin* But after clearing it with some people who specialize in attachment we decided he would go. Thane cannot leave the country right now so all of us going wasn’t an option.

It was a long four days but it went okay.

And then, exactly three months after meeting Thane in an airport, he and I went to another airport to pick up his Daddy.  We walked up behind N who was standing by the luggage carousel and when he turned around Thane absolutely fell into his arms.  No smile, just arms outstretched and a leap of faith. N caught him and hugged him and Thane just laid in his arms hugging him back for the longest time. Relief on his face.

And in that moment I realized that it had happened. I now think of him as home.

DSC_0745

::{{I lack the ability to blog both sequentially and in a timely matter, this post should have been posted on 4/23/2012}}::