adoption related seriousness

a broken hallelujah–remembering our referral

A year ago two pictures changed my life. Two pictures of a sleeping baby boy with a head full of curls and the sweetest lips in existence.

Adoption is an imperfect answer to an impossible question. I happen to wish that all Babies could be raised by their first mothers & fathers, the people who brought them into this world, the people whose blood history they share. But we don’t live in a world where “shoulds” always happen. Life is messy and painful, life includes loss and heartache. And so adoption exists.

And make no mistake I believe adoption is absolutely beautiful. I believe my family, built on adoption, is beautiful. It is the family I always wanted. It is the only family I wanted.  But I am very aware that I am the one in this adoption triad (the first parents, the child, the adoptive parents) who suffered the least loss to get to this place, to be part of this family. I am “the lucky” one.

Life is a broken hallelujah. And like I wrote here, my heart is still singing.


the baby turns one

I’m a bit late in writing about this, but we’re been living life too hard to record too much of it the last three weeks.

Thane’s birthday fell on a weekday and we decided to celebrate with just the three of us.  Our own, still relatively new, little family.  (We had a family party later that weekend, and a bigger one in CO a few weeks later.) N had to go to work of course but he got off early and Thane and I just had an amazing day together. I finished his cake, put the finishing touches on the decorations, and still had lots of time to play with the birthday boy. I left the kitchen a mess after cooking, and the bathroom a disaster after bath time,  because really, dirty dishes and wet towels are an everyday thing aren’t they?  But birthdays come only once a year, you have to hold on tight to every precious moment.

And what moments they were.


{{I was super pleased how the little decorations I made all came together – the banner over the fireplace, the one on the front of his highchair, his little hat, and the banner that went on his cake. And I simply adore paper lanterns, they scream *Happy* to me.  I was shocked he actually wore the hat for 5 seconds allowing us to snap a few pictures of the cuteness!}}


{{He started off very serious about the whole thing, politely taking little licks off his fingers, but it didn’t take long for him to dig into the thing with gusto. There’s nothing like your first real rush of sugar apparently.}}


{{If he looks like he’s waving to the adoring crowds he was, we had two computers set up with family on Skype, including my sister who lives overseas. How special that technology allowed her and her family to share in the moment. It was rather funny when Thane would wave at his cousin sending cake and frosting flying, speaking of which I believe there is still some on one the slipcovers in the living room.}}


{{I think he had a good time.}}


{{Cake covered dimples are the best.}}


{{Rubbing noses with Daddy.}}


what he’s been up to

His clapping has gone epic. He does it at appropriate times (after someone says yay! or he does something clever) and occasionally at inappropriate times (after I said “please don’t touch that, maybe he was applauding my gentle parenting?) and my personal favorite, he claps along with the television. And this isn’t the clapping at first that was hesitant and required great effort. Now it’s quick, virtually without effort and experimental: What happens when I clap in the water? What happens if I clap high in the air? What happens if I clap while smiling at my parents? Answer: they clap back and tell me I’m clever.

Baths are no longer about splashing, now they’re about the stream of water from the faucet. And also trying to pull the plug. Which leads to lessons on cause and effect.

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Waving now happens. And it’s adorable. At first it was a brief motion with the whole arm, at the chiropractor’s office of all places. Now it’s sometimes a hand-only movement.  Yesterday, while skyping with my sister’s family so she could watch him destroy his birthday cake his little cousin AM kept waving at him so Thane would suddenly cease the cake smashing and move to waving his little chubby fingers back at the laptop screen. Cake would fly everywhere and it was pretty much perfect.

Hands are really being discovered anew now that he has control over individual fingers. He sits and stares at them while he holds them up in the air moving them in different ways.

Language is just leaping forward. He tries to copy words out of the blue here and there. “Bird” is a favorite”, missing a D at the end of course. As is “night, night” missing the T at the end of course.  And “Baby”, which is pronounced perfectly is suddenly on the top of his babble list. Everything is baby this and baby that. I’m fairly certain he refers to N and I as baby which is kind of adorable. He responded to my husband saying “I love you” this morning. It came out “lubooo” this time. Which is I think how everyone should be required to say it from now on.

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Growling is still happening all the time. I love it. And the making of “the funny face” which really deserves it’s own post sometime.

He can catch a largish ball now. I’m super proud of that. The child might as well be accepting a Noble Peace Prize for the amount of bursting my buttons are doing.

Lastly, wheels are a new favorite. Especially the ones on the dishwasher tray.


*Deep breath* and that’s what my baby’s been up to. Besides looking cute. He’s a renaissance man I tell ya.