Month: October 2012

out with a whimper

I suppose it’s strange to say I’m proud of myself for doing something as simple as writing or posting something everyday for 31 days, but I am.  I’d love to sum up the experience in some profound, meaningful way.  Wrap it up with a neat tidy bow of lessons learned.  And I have learned some lessons.  I’ve learned that even when you think you have nothing to say you probably actually do.  I’ve learned that talking into an empty room is intimidating []

a promise to myself

Ten years ago Nate and I started dating, and started talking about adoption. Life has gone according to plan, except where it hasn’t. There are things so much better than I imagined and there have been losses that will never stop hurting. It’s so easy in the FB/online world to think people’s lives are picture perfect. And no one’s life is. But this is the only one I’m going to get so today I’m trying to learn to just let go of []

perfection: enemy of the good

A few years ago I went through something personally and it changed me, and not in a good way.  I became more afraid, less willing to take risks, more aware of “danger”.  It changed me in good ways as well but those are harder to see (aren’t they always?)  I’ve been slowly trying to reclaim those fearless parts of the person I was.  Jumping in without testing the water more often.  Because I miss that part of me.  The part of me []

twenty three pictures

Dear Thane: During our wait for you the best part of each month was getting update pictures.  We must have stared at each set for hours, taking in each expression you made, marveling at each glimpse into your personality. Memorizing each freeze framed moment of your life that we were given.  Twenty three pictures, that’s how many we have of you during those first seven and a half months of your life. I cherish each and every one.  Even the silly ones []

picture post: cutie

In unrelated news Thane has decided that rain is pretty much the funniest thing ever thought of.  We walk outside in it and he starts laughing and doesn’t stop until we get in the car.  I guess we brought him home to the right state after all.  I had my doubts in January when it was bitter cold and our furnace went out four days after he came to the US. I’m curious to see how long this stage lasts, because we have []

fragile

We live in a beautiful part of the world.  Even with our rain and our mist I love it here.  I didn’t always.  Actually, I still don’t always.  But mostly I do.  Still I don’t know if it feels like “home”.  But then again I’m not sure anywhere feels like home.  I was born in MT, moved to TX when I was two, moved to CO when I was 21 and now I’ve lived in WA as long as I lived in []

growing up

Thane  has a pretty great dad.  Great as in patient and involved and just an all around amazing guy.  He does this thing with Thane where when he’s  giving him instructions on something  (like not banging the screwdriver against the mirror let’s say) where he gets down at eye level, talks to him gently and then asks Thane to say “yes Dad” to show he understands.  Which comes out a bit more like “yaa daa” and is perfectly adorable. Then, while taking his bath a []