of trees and foster mothers

We have a picture of Thane’s foster mother, “B” that was taken shortly before he joined our family. She is sitting with him on her lap with both of them facing the camera.

And the first time I showed him the picture his eyes lit up and he reached out with chubby baby hands to stroke her face. It was a different expression that I’ve ever seen. It said there she is, she isn’t gone, she’s still here. And also, this person loves me.

He still has that picture, I keep it with his books and we pull it out and look at it together often. Sometimes I will find him carrying it around the house. It’s getting quite weathered now and it’s probably time to print a new one and laminate it this time.

I think of her so often.

Our gift to B was a necklace with a charm of a tree on it. I read somewhere that a first family gives a child roots, while his adoptive family gives him branches and together he has been given enough to find his place in the world. And when I think of B I think of the trunk of that tree. Strong, powerful, the foundation. She taught him how to trust, how to love. She taught him people could be depended on, that they’ll be there when we call.

And that’s a gift I can never repay. It’s a gift I couldn’t give him. It’s a gift I will forever be grateful for. She is a part of our family history, she’s woven into the fabric of who we are. We are stronger because of her. She was his second mother and she will forever hold a place of honor in my heart.


{{photo from August}}

Note: While it’s not overly common in international adoption our agency arranges for private foster homes for the children while the adoption process takes place. B cared for Nat seven months.

2 replies »

  1. That just makes me cry. What deep understanding and love you have gifted to Thane!


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