pinwheels of life

I had this dream the other night that I couldn’t get the car parked. This is not as far removed from reality as one might hope. But then my car with its zero turn radius morphed into my stroller with its magical turn radius and I parked it nicely,calling to the boys in their carseats that we had to wait here blocking some stranger’s driveway until daddy came to meet us. This made perfect sense in the dream of course, as did the fact that we suddenly ended up inside the house talking to the homeowners who reminded me alternatively of the couple in the movie UP and Miracle Max and his wife in Princess Bride.

And after they properly admired the babies I looked out their window and told them how much I loved the red convertible parked out there. Shiny, sleek, old. The wife smiled at her husband, and in the way that can only happen in dreams I saw the picnics the car took them to, the drives down the beach, the roadtrips together, and with a twinkle in her eye (she was the lady in UP at this point) said “it’s certainly been a pinwheel of our life.”

In the dream I got it. I saw time as the wind, always blowing around us, past us, moving with us. And then we hold a pinwheel up to it and suddenly time is captured, seen, grabbed unto.  It’s paused and beautified and treated as the here-now-and-then-never-again treasure it is.

As I looked at their car thinking these things it morphed into my childhood car – Brownie. Nothing special that car. But it took us to Dangerfield for camping trips, to Galveston to play in the waves, it sat in our driveway while Mom and Dad played games with us. I saw the work those moments took to create and I wanted them. I wanted those moments for my babies, with my babies. I wanted to be holding Nate’s hand at the end of it all and thinking of my own pinwheel memories.

Then I was back in my car, seeing Nate in the rearview mirror walking towards us down Bomoko street. Wearing the same shirt I had put Thane to sleep in naturally. And then he started crying and I stumbled out of bed to rock Talron back to sleep. Which, I suppose, is the only reason I remembered the dream at all.


{{The pinwheels I made for our Christmas tree repurposed after we finally took it down because life needs some whimsy.}}

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