Lately, as I watch you take these steps into independence I’m struck by everything I feel I’m failing at. Everything I am not preparing you adequately for when you reach adulthood. I ask myself why cant I stop all the pain and yes, failure you will walk through?
It’s my fault.
Yes, according to all the books and all the speakers who tell me to do this and that. Who tell me if I make all the right choices now you will make all the “right” choices later.
No, you will instead enter adult hood flawed and unprepared for perfection. But if I could I would walk with you all the paths that are coming. I would shield you from all the pain that has ever been and ever will be. I would build a time machine and save you from all the pain that happened back then. Even the pain I caused.
Because the truth of it is that no one enters adulthood prepared for it. You will make mistakes. Bad ones. You will have your heart broken, by people you believed in just a little too much. You will fail. Continue reading “to the children I am not preparing adequately for adulthood”