adoption process update

That title makes it sound so cold. Clinical. And ultimately the process is, it’s just piles upon piles of paperwork that sit on various desks until various people grab their various writing utensils and sign them. Then the news sorts its way down to us where a little email icon pops up on my phone screen telling me we have movement. And this week, finally, we have movement again. Another little checkmark in another box that brings us one step closer to []

the profoundly ordinary

The first blank page of the new year is staring me in the face.  Daring me to write something profound or meaningful or life-altering.  But what won’t leave my mind is the magic of the ordinary, the little daily moments that can make me catch my breath and pause.  Not trying to find a meaning or moral or life-lesson.  Just the sacredness of a moment that is and then isn’t.  A whisper that life is worth celebrating.  The little moments are worth []

cougar

Edit: I was recently informed this isn’t a cougar.  It’s a leopard.  Which Thane now calls “puppy”. …… A few months ago I started taking Thane’s stuffed animals and rocking them and hugging them and talking about how we take care of things we love and it’s neat to see him mimic those behaviors with them. He’s picked this cougar from Gigi as his favorite right now.  He’ll go into his room and get it and hug it and then come up to []

when the mountains don’t move

So what does it mean when your mountains don’t move?  When you pray the “prayer of faith” but there is no splash at the end to indicate that God was listening? What does it mean when those same prayers from other lips get answered?  When their “miracle” request is granted and yours gets filed in the trash bin of heaven? I find myself tempted to believe I didn’t do something right, didn’t pray the right words, didn’t have the right heart.  As []

random thoughts on a sunday evening

I worked on K’s room this weekend and it’s either going to be really cute or look like Pinterest threw up in there. Thane said the name of his birthcountry for the first time on Saturday.  I was talking about how much we loved looking at his pictures and how much we loved him and said “when you were a baby…” and he interrupted me and said “C___?” More and more I’m realizing how I have these little phrases I use all the []

the second time around

I have a constant sense of deja vu lately.  Like I’m in in my own adoption-themed version of groundhog day.  But I’m not repeating a day I’m repeating a year.  We accepted our two referrals almost exactly thirteen months apart.  And it’s a strange feeling going through the holidays and feeling so many of the same feelings I felt last year.  Thinking the same hopeful thoughts of “next year our family will be together.”  Waiting on the same paperwork.  I even got []

a First Thanksgiving and being an American

One of the cutest (in my biased opinion) newest Americans celebrated his first Thanksgiving this week.  The day before the big day I was suddenly filled with doubts about our plans to go out to eat instead of cooking and decided I was going to do my best Martha Stewart, or maybe Mary Stewart (the slightly more emotionally and lesser known Stewart sister whose linens aren’t ironed, food isn’t from scratch, and who didn’t serve wine from grapes she stomped herself) after []